The dating game . . .

This is rather a self serving post so please forgive me.  I do usually try to provoke thought and comment in my blogging, but this first post of 2017 might be an exception.  I'll try not to do it again . . .

Dating using an internet site can be a serious business.  But it might not be good to take it too seriously, especially if you're really looking for that special someone.  Then there's the possible question of 'playing well out of your league'.  You might be slightly blinded to this depressing fact as you strut down the street like some geriatric John Travolta.  Ever had a consultation with a headshrinker, or been in counselling?  Now that can be an interesting experience - "Kevin, the way you talk about this makes it sound like it's a game". Well, it is, isn't it?  When you're doing it this way it surely has to be.  And you have to treat it so, unless you wish to get burned.

My own experiences with dating this way have been hardly successful.  Being thrown into this maelstrom by failed marriage suddenly puts you into the category by default.  Maybe there's little wonder I'm finding it tricky to be a macho man. What should one expect, looking like a cross between BBC political reporter Nick Robinson and an even more ageing Adrian Edmondson?  At least being follically challenged is not so much of a problem for me these days.  The balding man association have been summarily redeemed by shave head hero/villian icons like Bruce Willis, the Mitchell brothers (EastEnders), Jason Statham and Samuel L Jackson, to name but a few.

Of course, this very blog post is an offshoot of the frustrating non-success I have had so far in this regard.  I suppose you could call it the 'seeking of catharsis'.  All I'm saying in hindsight is don't fall for all the illusion put forth by over zealous advertising.  A big percentage of advertising in general dwells in a world of idealism, where people are basically good, hardly self serving, so very ready to help their fellow man. Unfortunately, the reality can be very different.  For a start, it is very easy to forget that every profile you might consider worth pursuing will likely be courting the same admiration from umpteen other longing souls, all wanting to impress for their next possible chance for meaningful relationship.  The whole thing can seem very contrived in the end.  Maybe that's exactly what it has to be.  This is no chance meeting in some pub or night club.  It's not a set up by a friend of a friend.  This is a self manipulated adventure; a browse through a huge catalogue of lonely hearts; a pathway for those wanting to find the man/woman of their dreams.

Oh, and don't pay too much heed to any advertising photographs of  new found blissful intimacy, generally used as leverage to get you to commit to a membership.  That's an illusion too - for most of us.  Forming relationships, like everything else, has embraced technology with an open network, often carrying with it the rather depressing feeling of being synthetic.  What does one do then?  Line up the dates like they were buying a second hand car?  It seems to play this 'game' you have to have a pretty thick skin, and be ready for multiple strike outs before you find 'the one'.  And then maybe I'm cynical because it just hasn't worked for me.  That's a possibility and I won't deny it.  Sometimes I have to admit that it's disappointment drives me to the keyboard.

So for those who have used these services and won, I salute you. Bravo and congratulations.  Others may simply want a few dates and I think these sites can deliver in spades for those who mutually agree.  It's the ones seeking something more permanent I suspect may have trouble here; the ones daring to invest just a small piece of themselves into every carefully picked date they might venture upon.  Rejection can feel like a sharp slap in the face at the time, even with someone new.  This is especially true if you been messaging a while prior to an initial meet up.  The 'falling flat after seeing each other in the flesh' moment can initiate a downer lasting for days after.  The texts suddenly cease like you no longer exist.  You're off the list.  Next! But just slow down.  Wait another six weeks pal before you pick out another chance for rejection.

No doubt I will have another go - in around six weeks time I reckon.  But that's enough of that.  Let's get back to talking about movies, books, and how damn awful the world is . . .

Happy dating.